Back again!

Sorry. I've been away for a reeeeaaally long time, but I've got excuses! Not reasons though, just excuses... ;o)

My whole year up until now has been crazy hectic, and now I've just been too tired and lazy to update my blog. And on top of it all, I had my heart bruised, so I've been a little down. My heart isn't broken, just a little bruised. Basically I wasn interested in someone I thought was interested in me, but as it turns out, he wasn't. Or at least not enough so. And I ain't about to beg anyone to like me. So if he's not that into me, he's just not.

That being said, it does sting. The rejection, it always stings. Even when it's a guy you're not really that into, it stings. And this was a guy I really thought we had a connection with. Anyhoo, it didn't work out.

So as to my weight-loss, amazingly enough, even though I've been kind of down and feeling blue lately, I've finally dragged myself back to -30kg's! And it feels great! So I'm not that devastated!

What I've been doing lately is just cut bread and all obvious carbs from my diet. So I've had one slice of whole wheat rhye bread a day with my lunch salad, but other than that, I've had no bread. Also still avoiding pasta, rice and sugar. So far so good!

So I hope all of you out there are still doing great! I'm feeling better and getting over my bruised heart. I'm just trying to remember, that like a Finnish band called Don Huonot says it (now this is a loose translation):
"No-one has yet invented a bullet-proof heart,
So there's no point in fearing the shot,
'Cos lonelyness will slowly dig out that same hole."

So I try to remember that if you don't get your heart bruised every now and again, you will break it eventually anyway. You can't find love if you're not willing to take the chance of being hurt.

* * *

5th Week of Low Carb...

And it's going better now! I lost 1,1kg's this week, so YEY! I'm still working at getting back to 113, but it definetly looks better!

This week I've been struggling with the question "why am I doing this?" I've been feeling a bit lost and frustrated. The thing about losing weight is that, although it does make me feel better, it doesn't fix everything. I still have my insecurities and I still want to suffocate all the stress and frustration I feel in my life with a 500g bar of Fazerin sininen chocolate or a pint of Ben & Jerry's. Oh, the chocolate, oh the ice cream...

The problem is that eating is the closest I've gotten to falling in love. I know it sounds silly, but it's true. Eating to me was like being in love! The indulgance, the comfort, the sheer thrill of it. And now I've willingly given it up. For what? A life without sugar? A life without chocolate?!?!

Well, I got over my doubts without succumbing to chocolate. But still, I wonder, will I ever find someone who'll make me feel as good as Mr. Karl Fazer and his delicious chocolate...

* * *

No Loss This Week...

I'm a bit disappointed by that, but not ready to give up on the low carb diet just yet. I'll see what the results are this Sunday, and make my decision based on that.

I do wish that the weightloss would get back on track again. It's frustrating to feel like no matter what I do, nothing happens. Although (time for a confession) I've been way too relaxed about exercise. I know I should just make myself get out there and MOVE! It just ain't that simple! I just don't seem to find the time to actually do something about it.

On a positive note, I spent the weekend on a cruise with both of my sisters and my two-year-old niece, and it was fun, fun, FUN! We went from Helsinki to Stockholm, and did a little shopping while there. I got a new gorgeous Too Faced Beautiful and Bronzed palette that has three little bronzers on it. I love it! I'm really pale, so normally bronzers just make me look like I've forgotten to wash my clay mask off... But not this one! It gives a nice healthy glow! And just look at the box, how cute is that?

* * *

Week 3 on Low Carb Diet!

Okay, so another loss of 1,5 kg's (3,3 lbs) on Sunday! I'm so happy, although I know that this week won't be so great, as I will be punished for my freebie day. But I don't care! It was my birthday, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed the food and especially the carbs! ;o)

That's what I think is most important about a freebie day: you can't feel guilty about it. I had lots of stuff I shouldn't, but I also kept my head cool, I didn't go over board with the food! And how could I regret it, the cake was AMAZING! ;o)

The most important thing was that on Sunday, when I woke up with a hang-over, I took a bin bag and walked around my apartment throwing away all the high-carb goodness that was left over. Except for the chocolate. I just couldn't throw a practically full box of After Eights into the bin! So I took them to work for my work mates to enjoy. I know, its a bit risky to have them in the same room with me, but I just couldn't throw them away! I guess this'll just show me if I can make it!

So since I did have a freebie day, my goal for this week is to maintain the weight I lost last week or to lose up to 0,5 kg's (~1 lbs). So my expectations are not that high this week, since I tend to get depressed when my expectations are not met.

So I had my birthday last Saturday, and it was a whole lotta fun! My apartment was filled to the rim with my friends and family, everybody seemed to be enjoying themselves and I got some really cool gifts! What more can a girl ask for? Well, a lot, but I'm very pleased with what I got. :o)

* * *

I FIT INTO MY SKINNY JEANS!

It's absolutely fabulous! I got the BEST reward ever today! Today's my birthday party (although the actual birthday is tomorrow), and I fit into my skinny jeans! Sure in my case skinny jeans is EU 50 (US 20), but I don't care! I haven't been able to use these for something like 8 months, but now I'm back in them! Loving it! Tonight is gonna ROCK! :o)

So I'm getting ready for my party tonight. I've bought a lot of low carb food to snack on like nuts, veggies, guacamole etc. I've also bought stuff that is mainly for my friends, not me, the four evil C-words: crisps, cookies, candy and cake. But I'm pretty confident I'll stay reasonable, although tonight is my freebie-day, meaning I can eat what ever I want!

I love my make-up for tonight, I did a version of the Helena Bonham Carter inspired make-up I showed you guys earlier, but glammed it up with some really cool eyeliner and glittery false lashes! I'll post some pictures of it later on!

Okay, I gotto run now, need to do some preparations for tonight! Wish me luck! :o)

* * *

Oh, here's the super-cool cardigan my Mom knitted for me as a birthday present! I love it! Oh, and note the SKINNY JEANS! ;o)

* * *

Craving Chocolate...

It's funny, as long as I'm relaxed and happy, I have no actual need for chocolate. Would I like some? Sure! Do I need it? No.

But when ever things start going a bit sour, I feel the need rising. Like last night, I was really tired and angry at myself for not realising how much (or little) money I have left to spend. So I sat on my sofa, wondering how bad it would really be, if I opened that box of chocolates my friend gave me as a Valentine's Day gift...

I resisted the temptation, thankfully, but it came close. And I think that's the real problem for most of us: Food gives us comfort!

Now the thing with me is that I'm always processing something, always trying to analyse the situation, my situation, my friends situations, etc. My brain just keeps on going, and it gets tireing. I don't want to think all the time, I just want to be and relax, but my brain won't let me. So I found a way to shut up my brain: eating.

When I eat, I go into almost a meditative state. My mind goes blank and the only thing that matters is the taste sensation in my mouth. And that's why I eat. I think that's partially why this Low Carb thing works for me: I get to eat as much as I want, as long as it's low carb! I don't have to stop before I'm ready!

I still feel that the ultimate comfort food for me would be chocolate. I still want it, I just know I don't have to have it. That I can survive and have a happy life even if I don't get a daily dosage of it.

Having said that, I'm never gonna give up chocolate completely. I love it, but I've learned to have just a little of it every now and again, not a whole 500g box of it in one sitting.

* * *

Week 2 on Low Carb Diet

Last week was filled with both anxiety and happiness. At one point it seemed like nothing was happening, that I wasn't losing any weight, that in fact I was gaining some, but as always, patience is a virtue! Today I stood on the scale and saw 115,2 kg's on the screen, which means a loss of 1,2 kg's (2,6 lbs)! I'm so happy! My 29th birthday is next week, and I hope to be around 114 by that time!

Last week was definitely about finding the right diet and the right amount of carbs for me. I was very moody in the middle of it, but now I feel great. Don't really know what changed, but something did.

I'm definitely going to keep up with this new diet, since it's working so well! At least for now... If I've learned anything in these past 3,5 years of losing weight, its that there is an element of surprise and unpredictability to it, and that means that when things start going wrong, you have to come up with something new and different to get things back on track.

* * *

First weigh-in after starting Low Carb diet!

Okay, so I've lost 1,5 kg (3,3 lbs) in 5 days! I'm so excited! I'm trying to keep my head cool though, so that when the weight loss starts to wain down, I won't be too bitterly disappointed!

So I got Artifact and Blackground paint pots, and I'm really happy with them! I bought them because I wanted to try out this look by Pixiwoo from YouTube, unfortunately I forgot that she used Quite Natural instead of Artifact. But it still came out really cool, so I really don't mind! And I've got a great excuse to buy another paint pot... ;o)


Here's the tutorial I used:

And here's my rendition of it:



Today my Mom's coming over, and I promised to tell her about this LC diet as well, she wants to try it out. In her case she'll have other challenges though, since she has celiac disease, which prevents her from using the normal wheat based products anyway.

* * *

Day 3 of Low Carb diet...

I woke up this morning feeling fresh and excited! Which I never do. Not at 6 a.m., at least. But today I did! I got up, had a shower, dressed, ate my breakfast and danced around while putting on my make-up. I tell ya, it's hard to do a good make-up look while dancing!

Anyways, the morning was full of hope, I rushed off to work and still felt marvelous! I did begin to feel tired as the day went on, but I'm still amazed at how cheerful and energetic I was so early in the morning! I even thought about doing a little work out, but decided not to, since I didn't want to be late for work.

My food diary for today is rather similar as before, so I won't bother putting it on here, but my nutritional spectre is as follows: 25% protein, 54% fat and 21% carbs.

The site where I keep my food diary has these four balls that tell you whether you've

1. had enough of vegetables
2. if your energy intake is okay
3. if you'd have too many sweets and
4. if you've had enough fibers

I'm glad to say that since I've started eating low carb food I've noticed that getting these balls green is really easy! Before I had to struggle, especially with the fiber ball. Now, it's no struggle, I usually get all the balls to turn green by my lunch time!

The reason I've resisted doing this before was that I was afraid that eating low carb would mean eating only animal fats and giving up veggies. Now I realise that it actually means eating MORE veggies and just giving up sugar, bread and starch. I feel great and I intend to keep on with this to see if I'd be able to fit into that size 46 EU (18 UK, 16 US) dress by this summer!

Oh, and here's the dress I want to wear at my friends wedding this summer (in purple though), and it's from Halens:

* * *

Day 2 of Low Carb diet...

So far so good! I stuck to my plan last night, and I even managed to resist the oh-so delicious chocolates some evil spirits had brought to my office. Damn those evil spirits... But I'm so proud of myself!

So, today is another day, and I've already been planning what to eat. I've realised that that is one of the most important thing about losing weight: planning! I always fill my diary after breakfast for the rest of the day, so I know what to expect. Sometimes I do change it afterwards, and that's okay, but most of the time I do go by what I've planned.

If I stick to my plan today, I will get 1870 kcal's and of those 35% will be protein, 32% will be fat (of which 32% will be good ones) so that leaves 33% for carbs. I'm still happy with that, so I think that'll be fine for today!

On a side note, I havent heard from Jim since last Sunday. I think it's fair to assume, that he's just not that into me. A couple of other guys have contacted me, but quite frankly, they didn't seem to be that bright. I can live with just about anything else, but a man who seems illiterate and unintelligent.

* * *

Day 1 of Low Carb diet...

Okay, so I'm going ahead with this low carb thing. I'm not going to start drinking cream or eating bacon and eggs each morning, I just won't believe that that's healthy, no way, nu-huh... Instead I'm going to be cutting out bread, pasta, sugar and starch rich vegetables (potatoes etc.)

So here's how I'm starting my first day:

Breakfast:
Quark with berries and sweetener, coffee and a handful of plain peanuts
(320 kcal)

Lunch:
A cheese salad with two slices of rye bread (12% fiber) and butter
(590 kcal)

Snack:
An orange
(90 kcal)

Dinner:
A chicken-mozzarella salad with mayo
(630 kcal)

Snack:
Quark with berries and sweetener with some vegetable oil (since otherwise I won't get enough good fats)
(365 kcal)

Total: ~2000 kcal

I'm pretty happy with my plan for today, I'll be getting 30% of my nutrition from protein and 44% from fat (and 33% of those are good fats), which leaves 26% for carbs. I think that sounds about right!

* * *

Thinking About Carbs...

As I mentioned before, I've been living my new healthy lifestyle for 3,5 years now, and I've been stuck on this weight for about a year. Lately I've been losing some weight thanks to the Alli-product, but it's still been a slow process. So when a friend of mine called and told me that she had lost 2,5kg's in one week on a low carb diet, I must admit I was intrigued.

I did a little research today, and as far as I can tell, the most important thing is to lose white flour, white sugar and starch from your diet. Now since I already it mostly rye bread with at least 6% of fibre and I hardly ever eat anything sweet, I think this might be doable for me. The only problem is pasta. I love pasta. Don't even need a lot of sauce on it, just give me a bowl of pasta with a little tomato sauce on it, and I'll be happy as Larry! ;o)

The thing is that carbs are in just about everything. For instance I had a plan that I'd start eating quark every morning, thinking it was high in protein and low in carbs. Well that's true with the unsweetened stuff, which now man alive would eat just as it is. Sure I could put some berries in it, but there's no way they'd sweeten that up enough for me to enjoy it.

I don't know, I'm curious about this, but still a bit hesitant. Anyone have great experiences with low carb diet? Should I just go for it?

* * *