The Sound Of Silence

This is too brutal! I've been commanded to be quiet for the next three days! THREE DAYS! Pah, doctors, what do they know...

So here I am, otherwise completely healthy, just without a voice. I saw this as a chance to try the Nutrilett VLCD (very low calorie diet). I thought that since I'm not going anywhere or seeing anyone for three days, I might as well give it a go. So I started today with regular LCD (meaning my intake was about 1000 kcal) and tomorrow I'm gonna try to survive on VLCD (with only 500 kcal). We'll see how it goes... At least I shouldn't have any temptations distracting me, unless I end up eating an expired bottle of ketchup that's been sitting in my fridge since I moved...

My decision to try this was prompted by the fact that I was completely out of control last week. I just couldn't get enough of food. So I gained 1,2 kg's. And now I'm hoping this will rid me of those. (Also, the VLCD pack was on sale at Stockmann's, so...) Wish me luck!

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To Smile Or Not To Smile...

...That is the question. Now this question is not prompted by depression, but by my friends, who are trying to get me to open up to men more.

So here's my problem: I haven't had a real crush on a real guy since I was in High School. So that was... Umm... A decade ago! God, now I feel old... Anyways, I've met plenty of men since then, I've even dated one guy for 3 years, but I just never met anyone, who would make my hands shake, my knees weak and my throat clench up.

Now I've been informed by my nearest and dearest that it's due to the fact, that I'm too closed up. I don't let guys know that it's okay to approach me. Now, I know that in most cultures men just see a woman they like and go hit on her. In Finland it's a bit different.

Here women are so dominant, that I think men are rather afraid of us. So instead of marching up to a girl and giving her some cheesy line, most Finnish men just scope the room, try to find someone who's most likely not to laugh at them and then make the approach.

Aparently I look like a laugher. And to be fair, I probably am too sarcastic and hard to impress, but that's the way I'm wired. I know that to change my current situation, I have to make some changes in myself, but I really don't want to change who I am. I have high standards. So sue me.

So now I'm trying to learn to be more easily approachable. I have a goal that I'd smile at least once a day to an attractive man. Maybe if I start noticing men, they'll start noticing me. It's at least worth a shot!

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Back again!

Sorry. I've been away for a reeeeaaally long time, but I've got excuses! Not reasons though, just excuses... ;o)

My whole year up until now has been crazy hectic, and now I've just been too tired and lazy to update my blog. And on top of it all, I had my heart bruised, so I've been a little down. My heart isn't broken, just a little bruised. Basically I wasn interested in someone I thought was interested in me, but as it turns out, he wasn't. Or at least not enough so. And I ain't about to beg anyone to like me. So if he's not that into me, he's just not.

That being said, it does sting. The rejection, it always stings. Even when it's a guy you're not really that into, it stings. And this was a guy I really thought we had a connection with. Anyhoo, it didn't work out.

So as to my weight-loss, amazingly enough, even though I've been kind of down and feeling blue lately, I've finally dragged myself back to -30kg's! And it feels great! So I'm not that devastated!

What I've been doing lately is just cut bread and all obvious carbs from my diet. So I've had one slice of whole wheat rhye bread a day with my lunch salad, but other than that, I've had no bread. Also still avoiding pasta, rice and sugar. So far so good!

So I hope all of you out there are still doing great! I'm feeling better and getting over my bruised heart. I'm just trying to remember, that like a Finnish band called Don Huonot says it (now this is a loose translation):
"No-one has yet invented a bullet-proof heart,
So there's no point in fearing the shot,
'Cos lonelyness will slowly dig out that same hole."

So I try to remember that if you don't get your heart bruised every now and again, you will break it eventually anyway. You can't find love if you're not willing to take the chance of being hurt.

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The real Truthiness

My truthiness:
A) I speak four languages fluently - this is not true. I speak two languaged fluently (Finnish and English), one language rather well (Swedish) and one really, really poorly (French).

B) I'm very remotely related to both the Danish and the Swedish royal families - this is true. I am very remotely related to both royal families, but we're talking about something around the 18th century. So my claim to the throne is really rather slim!

C) I've had a pet hamster named Mimi - nope, I've never had any furry pets due to allergies, only fish, and even they ate each other, since I forgot to feed them...

D) My favourite book in the whole wide world is Charles Dickens's Great Expectations - No way, I hated that book! Can't help it, but Dickens just isn't my cup of tea!

E) I love skiing - Nope, and unfortunately skiing is a mandatory part of the Finnish currilicum for sports. But the last time I skied was back in Junior High, and boy was it blood and tears!

F) I think that cleanliness is next to godliness - No, I think that as long as the place is sanitary, a little mess never hurt anyone. I live in perpetual chaos, since cleaning up is not amongst my favourite things to do, but my apartment is not dirty. Just messy.

G) I've once slept through an earthquake - This is true. When I lived in Belgium I once slept through a minor earthquake. It was minor, but it managed to make a small crack into the wall, and it woke the rest of the family up. I probably just switched sides and wondered when I'd gotten a vibrating bed... ;o)

So there, those are the truths and lies!

Truthiness

The rules are:

1. Thank the person who gave this to you.

2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.

3. Link to the person who nominated you.

4. Tell up to 6 outrageous lies about yourself, and at least one outrageous truth.

5. Nominate 7 "creative writers" who might have fun coming up with outrageous lies.

6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.

7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know you nominated them.

Thank you very much to Buttercup from http://asyouws.blogspot.com/ for nominating me! :o)

My truthiness:

A) I speak four languages fluently

B) I'm very remotely related to both the Danish and the Swedish royal families.

C) I've had a pet hamster named Mimi

D) My favourite book in the whole wide world is Charles Dickens's Great Expectations

E) I love skiing

F) I think that cleanliness is next to godliness

G) I've once slept through an earthquake

The bloggers that I would like to nominate are:

Unfortunately all the bloggers I've been following have been nominated for this already... :o)

Let me know which one you think is the truth! :o)

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5th Week of Low Carb...

And it's going better now! I lost 1,1kg's this week, so YEY! I'm still working at getting back to 113, but it definetly looks better!

This week I've been struggling with the question "why am I doing this?" I've been feeling a bit lost and frustrated. The thing about losing weight is that, although it does make me feel better, it doesn't fix everything. I still have my insecurities and I still want to suffocate all the stress and frustration I feel in my life with a 500g bar of Fazerin sininen chocolate or a pint of Ben & Jerry's. Oh, the chocolate, oh the ice cream...

The problem is that eating is the closest I've gotten to falling in love. I know it sounds silly, but it's true. Eating to me was like being in love! The indulgance, the comfort, the sheer thrill of it. And now I've willingly given it up. For what? A life without sugar? A life without chocolate?!?!

Well, I got over my doubts without succumbing to chocolate. But still, I wonder, will I ever find someone who'll make me feel as good as Mr. Karl Fazer and his delicious chocolate...

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No Loss This Week...

I'm a bit disappointed by that, but not ready to give up on the low carb diet just yet. I'll see what the results are this Sunday, and make my decision based on that.

I do wish that the weightloss would get back on track again. It's frustrating to feel like no matter what I do, nothing happens. Although (time for a confession) I've been way too relaxed about exercise. I know I should just make myself get out there and MOVE! It just ain't that simple! I just don't seem to find the time to actually do something about it.

On a positive note, I spent the weekend on a cruise with both of my sisters and my two-year-old niece, and it was fun, fun, FUN! We went from Helsinki to Stockholm, and did a little shopping while there. I got a new gorgeous Too Faced Beautiful and Bronzed palette that has three little bronzers on it. I love it! I'm really pale, so normally bronzers just make me look like I've forgotten to wash my clay mask off... But not this one! It gives a nice healthy glow! And just look at the box, how cute is that?

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