The Sound Of Silence

This is too brutal! I've been commanded to be quiet for the next three days! THREE DAYS! Pah, doctors, what do they know...

So here I am, otherwise completely healthy, just without a voice. I saw this as a chance to try the Nutrilett VLCD (very low calorie diet). I thought that since I'm not going anywhere or seeing anyone for three days, I might as well give it a go. So I started today with regular LCD (meaning my intake was about 1000 kcal) and tomorrow I'm gonna try to survive on VLCD (with only 500 kcal). We'll see how it goes... At least I shouldn't have any temptations distracting me, unless I end up eating an expired bottle of ketchup that's been sitting in my fridge since I moved...

My decision to try this was prompted by the fact that I was completely out of control last week. I just couldn't get enough of food. So I gained 1,2 kg's. And now I'm hoping this will rid me of those. (Also, the VLCD pack was on sale at Stockmann's, so...) Wish me luck!

* * *


To Smile Or Not To Smile...

...That is the question. Now this question is not prompted by depression, but by my friends, who are trying to get me to open up to men more.

So here's my problem: I haven't had a real crush on a real guy since I was in High School. So that was... Umm... A decade ago! God, now I feel old... Anyways, I've met plenty of men since then, I've even dated one guy for 3 years, but I just never met anyone, who would make my hands shake, my knees weak and my throat clench up.

Now I've been informed by my nearest and dearest that it's due to the fact, that I'm too closed up. I don't let guys know that it's okay to approach me. Now, I know that in most cultures men just see a woman they like and go hit on her. In Finland it's a bit different.

Here women are so dominant, that I think men are rather afraid of us. So instead of marching up to a girl and giving her some cheesy line, most Finnish men just scope the room, try to find someone who's most likely not to laugh at them and then make the approach.

Aparently I look like a laugher. And to be fair, I probably am too sarcastic and hard to impress, but that's the way I'm wired. I know that to change my current situation, I have to make some changes in myself, but I really don't want to change who I am. I have high standards. So sue me.

So now I'm trying to learn to be more easily approachable. I have a goal that I'd smile at least once a day to an attractive man. Maybe if I start noticing men, they'll start noticing me. It's at least worth a shot!

* * *


Back again!

Sorry. I've been away for a reeeeaaally long time, but I've got excuses! Not reasons though, just excuses... ;o)

My whole year up until now has been crazy hectic, and now I've just been too tired and lazy to update my blog. And on top of it all, I had my heart bruised, so I've been a little down. My heart isn't broken, just a little bruised. Basically I wasn interested in someone I thought was interested in me, but as it turns out, he wasn't. Or at least not enough so. And I ain't about to beg anyone to like me. So if he's not that into me, he's just not.

That being said, it does sting. The rejection, it always stings. Even when it's a guy you're not really that into, it stings. And this was a guy I really thought we had a connection with. Anyhoo, it didn't work out.

So as to my weight-loss, amazingly enough, even though I've been kind of down and feeling blue lately, I've finally dragged myself back to -30kg's! And it feels great! So I'm not that devastated!

What I've been doing lately is just cut bread and all obvious carbs from my diet. So I've had one slice of whole wheat rhye bread a day with my lunch salad, but other than that, I've had no bread. Also still avoiding pasta, rice and sugar. So far so good!

So I hope all of you out there are still doing great! I'm feeling better and getting over my bruised heart. I'm just trying to remember, that like a Finnish band called Don Huonot says it (now this is a loose translation):
"No-one has yet invented a bullet-proof heart,
So there's no point in fearing the shot,
'Cos lonelyness will slowly dig out that same hole."

So I try to remember that if you don't get your heart bruised every now and again, you will break it eventually anyway. You can't find love if you're not willing to take the chance of being hurt.

* * *