It's the end of January

I've managed to hold my 5 days of VLCD this month, ended yesterday. The last day was really difficult. I kept fantasizing about food, my neighbors cooked something that smelled really delicious and I felt annoyed. But it's done now, began my day today by eating porridge, had some wok for lunch and am now planning on going to town with my laptop, eat a salad and write some.

I've been really busy this December and January with a project I made with my friends. We did a video parody of soap operas mixed with some Film Noir style. It was so much fun to do, and I'm really proud of the end result, but it sure did take a lot of energy to do it. Fortunately there were two of us who took charge of the thing, so I didn't have to do all by myself, but still, I was the director and the editor, so the majority of the work did land on my shoulders.

January was a hard month for me, harder than I expected. Nothing overwhelming, but I did find it harder to monitor my eating, when so many thing seemed to go wrong / stress me out. For instance, I got a wedding invitation, which in itself would have been nice, but the groom is my ex-boyfriend and the bride used to be one of my closest friends. They started dating 2 weeks after we broke up, and the interest was clear while we were dating. It was actually one of the reasons I dumped him, because I realized they were interested in each other.

It's been... 6 years, but I still find it hard to forgive her. With my ex, we talked it out back then and we're fine, but my friend never apologized to me or showed any kind of remorse for making me feel miserable and worthless. So when I got the invitation I contemplated for a while, feeling some kind of morbid fascination to see the whole shebang, but thanks to my mom, soon realized I'd only be ripping open old wounds and make myself miserable. So I'm not going.

On top of all that fun, I've been sick, over stressed and tired. So I had all the chances to spiral into a bingeing craze, but fortunately I didn't. So as of this morning, my weight is at a reasonable 121 kg's. Hope that next month I can tell you it's under 120.

New Year's Resolution

Well, this is not really a New Year's Resolution since I made it in late November, but it's close enough I suppose!

What I'm going to try this year is the following: 5-10 days / month I'm going to do the VLCD -diet (Very Low Calorie Diet) so that I'll have 800 kcal / day. The rest of the month I'm going to try to eat healthy enough to keep the weight off. (Well, most of it, VLCD gets your fluids going so that there's probably going to be about 1 kg's gain after every VLCD batch).

I'm hoping that this will make me lose about 10-15 kg's in 2012. (My weight this morning was 122,4 kg's, so that would mean I'd get to about 110 kg's before next Christmas.)

But more importantly, I'm not going to be too fixated on the grams on my scale, my resolution is to try this method for a year, if it works wonderful, if it doesn't, well too bad. The only thing I'm fairly certain of is that it can't make me GAIN weight...

If I make it, and can go the whole year, I'm going to reward myself with a pair of shoes from www.shoesofprey.com, where you can custom make shoes to your own liking. They're quite expensive (180 € for a medium heel), but it's something I want and I've been thinking about getting something like these zebra shoes I designed.

Anyways, I'll try to keep you posted on a monthly bases on how it goes. Hopefully well!