It all started back in summer 2006. I was working in a place, where the atmosphere was opressive and very unpredicatble. My boss was at least borderline psychopath and some of my co-workers were mean and vindictive.
I was also dating a guy, who was nice, but ultimately our relationship was cold and devoid of affection. When he was abroad for two months, I didn't miss him once. When he got home, it took us a month to get together. That wasn't what I considered to be a real relationship. And on top of it all, I realised one of my friends had a crush on him, and that he felt the same way about her.
So it's fair to say that the summer of 2006 was not a happy time for me. But the fall was.
Within a month I quit my job for a better one and I dumped my boyfriend. At the same time I realised my weight had really become a problem. I didn't know how much I weighed, as I hadn't even seen a scale for three years, but I knew I was so fat, that I couldn't bend properly, all my clothes were getting too small and I was constantly tired.
Being free from a job and a relationship that were unsatisfying, I started taking walks. I wasn't ready to go to a gym or anything, as I didn't want people staring at me. Slowly I began feeling more and more energised and happy, but it still took me 4 months before I dared to step on a scale.
As I saw the outcome (143,3kg's or 315,9 lbs), I felt overwhelmed and shocked. I had no idea I had gotten so fat! But at the same time I felt relieved. Now I knew where I was, now I knew I had to do something. And so I started dieting.
At first I just did what I knew I had to do: eat less and eat healthier. I started eating salads and fruits, gave up candy and chocolate. Everything seemed to go great, my first week I lost 3,9kg's! When I had lost 7kg's (15lbs), my first crisis emerged. I wanted to quit, I wanted to stop trying, I wanted some chocolate! But then I realised, that this was exactly how far I always got. I lost 7kg's, and that was it.
The thought of living my life as I had just a few weeks before frightened me enough to keep on with my new diet. And I'm glad I did!
So from then on I've been losing weight. It hasn't been easy, it hasn't been quick, but I've been doing it. The sad part is that I know I will have to do this for the rest of my life. Just like an alcoholic is always an alcoholic, even when he's on the wagon, I am always a chocoholic. 'Till the day I die...
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