My method of losing weight

is quite simple, and yet the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I eat healthy and exercise more. Shocking, I know, but it works. Slowly, and sometimes surely. My process has been slow and filled with both happiness and anxiety. No quick fixes, no easy solutions, but hopefully something that will help me maintain a reasonable weight for the rest of my life.

It all started back in summer 2006. I was working in a place, where the atmosphere was opressive and very unpredicatble. My boss was at least borderline psychopath and some of my co-workers were mean and vindictive.

I was also dating a guy, who was nice, but ultimately our relationship was cold and devoid of affection. When he was abroad for two months, I didn't miss him once. When he got home, it took us a month to get together. That wasn't what I considered to be a real relationship. And on top of it all, I realised one of my friends had a crush on him, and that he felt the same way about her.

So it's fair to say that the summer of 2006 was not a happy time for me. But the fall was.

Within a month I quit my job for a better one and I dumped my boyfriend. At the same time I realised my weight had really become a problem. I didn't know how much I weighed, as I hadn't even seen a scale for three years, but I knew I was so fat, that I couldn't bend properly, all my clothes were getting too small and I was constantly tired.

Being free from a job and a relationship that were unsatisfying, I started taking walks. I wasn't ready to go to a gym or anything, as I didn't want people staring at me. Slowly I began feeling more and more energised and happy, but it still took me 4 months before I dared to step on a scale.

As I saw the outcome (143,3kg's or 315,9 lbs), I felt overwhelmed and shocked. I had no idea I had gotten so fat! But at the same time I felt relieved. Now I knew where I was, now I knew I had to do something. And so I started dieting.

At first I just did what I knew I had to do: eat less and eat healthier. I started eating salads and fruits, gave up candy and chocolate. Everything seemed to go great, my first week I lost 3,9kg's! When I had lost 7kg's (15lbs), my first crisis emerged. I wanted to quit, I wanted to stop trying, I wanted some chocolate! But then I realised, that this was exactly how far I always got. I lost 7kg's, and that was it.

The thought of living my life as I had just a few weeks before frightened me enough to keep on with my new diet. And I'm glad I did!

So from then on I've been losing weight. It hasn't been easy, it hasn't been quick, but I've been doing it. The sad part is that I know I will have to do this for the rest of my life. Just like an alcoholic is always an alcoholic, even when he's on the wagon, I am always a chocoholic. 'Till the day I die...

* * *

No comments:

Post a Comment